• November 20, 2012 /  Entries

    The fifth birthday that I’ve passed in Lithmore.

    My life is utterly unrecognizable these days. People perceive me so wrongly, but I’m not able to show them the real me. If a “real me” even exists any longer, I can count the people who know him on well less than the finger of one hand.

    I don’t have friends, she told me, and perhaps she was right.  Certainly she was never one, whatever I liked to think. I can thank my foolish words for clarifying that.

    And I have changed. Not as profoundly as people think, I’m sure. But… I have changed. Nobody could live a noble’s life without changing, though I think I thought I could. Just another part, eh, Ari? And you are such an actor.

    People would laugh at me if I tried to tell them that I never wanted to be a noble for its own sake, that I paid a high price for my title. What could be bad about being nobility?

    The answer, of course, is “everything –  beyond the power to right wrongs and the beautiful jewelry, anyway.” But I knew what I wanted and I made the trade to get it. I do not regret my choice, even if it sounds like it sometimes.

    Still… I can wish there had been a better way, can’t I?