Mommy always told me
Poppa always warned me
Don’t hang around boys like you
Teacher always told me
Never to be naughty
Don’t mess around with boys like you
If I had have listened
Wouldn’t be in this position
-
SOUNDTRACK: Boys Like you
Comments Off on SOUNDTRACK: Boys Like youFebruary 1, 2012 / Soundtrack -
Little Bird
Comments Off on Little BirdJanuary 31, 2012 / MemoriesHow much a day changes? Everything.
Ten years ago.
My Mother was a whore of some renown in Tubor, graced with beauty it was said her gaze alone could stop any man in the street. It is was also said I took after her, but I do not see it. I have never had her effect on men. In fact, it has always been quite the opposite. Perhaps this is why I take such offence when I find that term directed my way. Offence. Understatement. My blood boils.
With large blue eyes that are still full innocent and a head full of curls, my brother was doted on by everyone in the block. Spoiled. Most definitely, it was rare that a day went by without some passing merchant or client didn’t drop off a sugar-sweet for him. Whilst I was full of mischief and always causing no end of trouble for my Mother, he was so good and sweet. And somehow, I never hated him for it. We were just always so different.
My Mother had a very select list of clientèle who were willing to pay a substantial sum of money for her services. Nobles from abroad. Gentry sometimes. The Red Claw was always very selective as to who he allowed to see her. None-the-less, we lived a good, if somewhat, unusual life, my brother and I. We were educated and I had just started learning to read. Some of my Mother’s more preferred clients took to me and offered me lessons in the Lithmorran tongue. Looking back on it now, perhaps I was being groomed.
One such day I was reading in the library. I was meant to be looking after my brother but instead I had become engrossed in a new book. My Mother with a new client that she had reluctantly taken on – she rarely took on anyone new people these days. Finding my attention lacking, he wandered off and ran to him on the stairway.
The Noble was drunk. I think. And he took insult in something my Brother said. Not the right title, or not enough bowing. I don’t know what the fuck it was. But what ever imagined slight he saw resulted in him giving my Brother a smack across the head. Hard enough that he went flying… down the stairs. I flew at the Noble, enraged. I remember getting smacked and the rest of the night, well it was a blur.
He never opened his eyes again.
And neither did my Brother.
-
SOUNDTRACK [IRIS]
Comments Off on SOUNDTRACK [IRIS]January 30, 2012 / SoundtrackI liked the way my hand looked on your head
The presence of my knuckles
But the beauty of this vision alone
Just like yesterday’s sunset
Has been perverted by the sentimental and mistaken for loveThe felix of your truth will always break it
And the iris of your eye will always shake it
And the armies, the armies I have created
Will always hate it will always bait you onI liked the way my hand looked on your head
The presence of my struggle
But the beauty of this vision alone
I can’t shake from my tree just yet
It keeps invading all my private moments
Listen to me now -
Chaos Rules When We’re Apart
Comments Off on Chaos Rules When We’re ApartJanuary 30, 2012 / Here & NowIt is like only half of me exists now. That without your weight beside me, I’m spinning off to an oblivion in a chaotic whirlwind that threatens to take me and everything around me down with it. I reach out with grabbing hands trying to catch what ever thread that would give my existence some meaning, only to feel each one shatter in my grasp. And now, there is nothing left. No one that understands. No one that cares.
I make the daily motions. I feel the rage rising within me but it is like I’m not truly a part of it. I steer my course, take the most dangerous path which will lead me ever closer to once again being in your arms.
I wonder what you would do if you could see me now. Would you be raging with me? Would you enforce me?
Thank Dav for the pain. It is the one thing (almost) that keeps that unbearable at bay. That stops me sliding that knife across my wrist and letting it all bleed out.
I would give up every thing, every man, every coin, every piece of red for just one more minute. Just one more kiss. One more dance.
-
Protected: Introducing… Scarlet.
Comments Off on Protected: Introducing… Scarlet.January 30, 2012 / Here & Now -
To the Fire (II)
Comments Off on To the Fire (II)January 30, 2012 / VersesIt would seem that you’re no good at deceit
It would appear that you lie and you cheat
Want to shriek to the beings in the corner
Want to howl because it feels like tortureSpare me your weak apologies
I don’t care for the way they make me bleed
Can’t find a reason and you won’t explain
You’ll be sorry if It happens againLet’s make a deal or I’ll hurt you, you know.
George
-
To the Fire
Comments Off on To the FireJanuary 30, 2012 / VersesAttackers at Terce
And they’re falling out of the skies.
They want to shut my identity off
And cut me down to size.But I can’t see the end of my fingers now
and I just can’t feel my toes.
None of my gloves will fit me any more,
My FURY expands and my body BLOWS.Attackers at Complina,
It’s sword versus dagger
But if they want to cut me down in flames
They better be set to stagger!I can see the whites of YOUR eyes
Oh no, it’s the venomous soul
An exercise and pinocchio lies
But that’s the way it goes.Attackers at Vesperam
YOU want to kick your way to my heart
If a picture paints a thousand words
then doodles talk about too much.I need a new drug!
Attackers at Complina
Still finger paint in mud.
If you want to talk about some art,
I’ll teach you how to draw some blood. -
To the Wind
Comments Off on To the WindJanuary 29, 2012 / VersesOh, I can’t believe my eyes
But still it’s no surprise
To see the things they’re saying now.
Oh I can’t believe my ears
The things everyone hears
Just seem to hurt somehow -
SOUNDTRACK (GEORGE)
Comments Off on SOUNDTRACK (GEORGE)January 29, 2012 / SoundtrackYou know you don’t love me but you still want to touch me,
feel my body well it makes me feel ugly
Want to use me emotionally abuse me,
show the rope and dangle It above me
Want the truth and nothing but the whole truth,
say I’m nervous but I’m looking for the real proof
Found the photo and the little piece of paper,
without a name but that will come laterIt would seem that your no good at deceit,
it would appear that you lie and you cheat
Want to shriek to the beings in the corner,
want to howl cause It feels like tortureSpare me your weak apologies,
I dont care for the way they make me bleed
Can’t find a reason and you won’t explain,
you’ll be sorry if it happens againLets make a deal or I’ll hurt you, you know
You Haven’t a notion and you haven’t a clue,
you have to know I cannot trust you,
Now I know to well your ways,
now I know I’ll always pay
So I’ll sit in my room not daring to move,
never raising my voice and thinking of you
And I’ll try to Imagine that we never met,
try to pretend and I’ll try to forget -
Waking up.
Comments Off on Waking up.January 28, 2012 / VersesHello my friend. It’s morning time to wake now.
Your body and mine, entwined we’ll have to break now.
But I want your flesh, your warmth to stay beside me.(Chris Knox)