Of Wants and Wilds

(The following letter is written in a hasty, almost reckless script, with unsteady lines and small mistakes here and there.)

To my dearest sister Arlais,
I, Argider de Roldan, send greeting from the north:

I am sorry this letter arrives so late, Arlais.  More than two months since my last, I think?  Sometimes, I can hardly keep the days in order; they all seem to meld together in a jumble of tasks that never end.  But I am getting ahead of myself.  Here, I shall help you to understand:  recently, I began an apprenticeship with Commander Amira Khalid, a fellow Fariner and veteran of the Front.  I had been wanting to improve my skills around the forge, in the hopes that I might be of better use to the Knights, but much to my surprise, the Commander also offered to put me in charge her shop, Edessan Blades.  Needless to say, I accepted the position.  I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to learn more about the requirements of owning and managing a business.  Well, I can now tell you, managing a shop is a great deal more work than I had anticipated, and it has given me far more of an appreciation for Harith’s accomplishments.  And though it has been a good lesson, I confess that it has also been an exhausting one.

There is another apprentice with whom I must share the forge, and I cannot say it pleases me very much.  Something about that man irks me deeply, and I do not trust him.  He comes into the shop in the sort of hooded cloak that only unsavory people wear, and whenever he speaks to me, it’s as if he’s merely putting on a show.  Do you know what I mean?  I get the impression that he only tells me what he thinks I want to hear.  And what’s more, I have not been able to pursue my investigation into Sir Sabin de Guiscard’s death as I had originally planned.  Whenever I set out to do so, it seems as though another of my responsibilities gets in the way.

I was, however, able to escape my responsibilities for a short while earlier this month.  Under the auspices of survival training, I ventured beyond the city and its environs for the first time since my arrival in Decembris of last year.  I spent nearly a week out-of-doors, and oh, Arlais, it was glorious!  I felt more alive than in all my days in the city combined.  I climbed the mountain peaks west of Lithmore, so high I could see all the city spread out before me down below, and I swam in serene Harmon Lake, the water so cold I thought it would freeze my bones.  I saw waterfalls, fields of wildflowers, all manner of game, old ruins… I even stumbled upon a bear cave!  If you promise not to become upset, I’ll even tell you that the bear itself was home when I entered.  I must have disturbed it, for it rose upon its hind legs and roared at me angrily.  I made a quick exit, of course, but Mirza and I traveled a bit more cautiously after that day.  It reminded me so much of my journeys with uncle Theo…

But, something more than responsibility called me back to Lithmore, and so I made my way through the hills and along the northern road, until I was within the high stone walls once more.  While out there in the wilds, I was allowed some time for reflection, and I came to realize that there are things that I have done in my life that can never be undone–secrets, I admit, that I haven’t told even you about, Arlais–but I wonder if it is time, perhaps, to unshackled myself from those mistakes.  Not to forget them or to leave them behind, but to embrace them as an essential part of myself.  I hope that this makes some sense?  You know I do not have your same way with words.  But importantly, if she can accept those flaws, well, then there is hope for me yet, don’t you think?  I don’t know if I shall ever be a good man, but sometimes, I begin to hope that I might be just good enough.  For that reason, I will endeavor to work even harder than before.

And on that matter, I should finish this letter and drop it off at the post, before I am late to my next training session.  If you hear from Harith, do let me know?  I shall eagerly await your next missive and any news from the South.  Give your husband and the boys my best…

By my hand this morning of Lunisda, Quintilis 10,
In the year of Our Lord 357,

A_____ de R______

A Letter to Harith

(The following letter is written in a careful, precise hand, as though the author spent a great deal of time and effort to make every letter just-so.)

To my brother, the Master Jewelsmith Harith de Roldan of Montford, Farin,
I, Argider de Roldan, send greeting from the Capital of Lithmore:

Salutations, Harith.  I hope this missive finds you and the family in good health, and that the seasonal rains have been abundant this year in Montford.  As for myself, I am doing well here in Lithmore.  Indeed, I am writing to inform you that I have recently taken up a position as an apprentice to Commander Amira Khalid, Master Blacksmith, of the Edessan Legions.  I hope this news will please you?  Already, I have crafted quality wares that have sold for good prices here in the city.  May it please you to know that the Commander has placed me in charge of her shop, Edessan Blades, and has allowed me the use of her private home while she is away on business.  So far, it has been a valuable experience–one that I hope will prepare me to manage my own shop, someday.

I write, also, to inform you of a potential business contact.  Since my arrival in Lithmore, I have become acquainted with a young woman by the name of Shaylei le Orban.  You might recognize the surname.  She is the cousin of the Baron le Orban of Savir.  From what I understand, her family is looking to expand its trade into the duchy of Farin.  They specialize in furs, horses, and spices, and, while I imagine the South has less use for furs, I suspect it could benefit from a trade in northern spices and mounts.  I’m afraid I do not know whether said mounts are of a Charalin line or some other, but I have no doubt that the North would be happy to have more access to the fine jewels and metals of Tarn origin and de Roldan make.

I hope, as well, that my burgeoning skills with weapons and armor might be of use to the Knights Lithmorran in the coming days.  I know you do not care much for my pursuit of Knighthood, Harith, but it remains important to me and a priority among my other pursuits.  And, though you may find this hard to believe, I was promoted to the rank of Squire recently, while attending a small gathering of nobility, held in honor of the engagement between the Baron le Orban and the Lady dul Dumassande.  It was due to my acquaintance with Miss Shaylei le Orban that I was able to attend.  So you see, there are many potential benefits of being connected to that family… something I hope you will keep in mind?

May the Lord of Springs keep you safe, brother.

By my hand this evening of Circadi, Quintilis 1,
In the year of Our Lord 357,

A_____ de R______

Of Rain and Remorse

To my dear sister Arlais,
I, Argider de Roldan, send greeting from Lithmore:

Your letter arrived just yesterday. I was very glad to hear that you and the unborn babe are in good health and that your husband has returned safely from his recent business travels.  How is the weather in Talfore this time of year?  It has been raining a great deal here in Lithmore, enough to make a simple Fariner wonder if the world might be coming to an end.  If the boys are anything like I was at their age, I imagine they are outside playing in puddles despite your having told them otherwise.  Did raising me prepare you for this life of yours? Sometimes I think it must have.

To answer your question, Miss Shaylei’s canine companion is well-behaved, though, yes, I do think the animal quite capable of protecting its mistress.  I have no reason to think Athene would harm me personally, however. Not unless I gave her good reason, and I can’t imagine why I ever would. Miss Shaylei has proven herself a good and loyal friend to me. When I injured my hand earlier this year, she saw to my wound without complaint. Now, she has joined the Knights Lithmorran as a physician. Sometimes I wonder if she did so simply to make sure she would be near should I manage to injure myself again. I admit, I do not get as much rest as I should, which has made it more difficult to focus on the tasks at hand. Often, I wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, after experiencing unpleasant, sometimes even disturbing dreams. I wish I could tell you why. But please do not worry, dear sister.  Miss Shaylei has provided me with concoctions to aid me in my sleep.

As for the matter of Sir Sabin de Guiscard, I will tell you that I have begun an investigation into the circumstances surrounding his untimely death. I met with his wife, Vivienne, just this past week, and… well, she was not as I expected, despite the fact that she matched his description quite well.  I don’t know what I did expect, but my opinions are of little consequence. The important point is that she seems willing to aid me in my investigation, and for that I am grateful. Making good on her word, she sent a copy of a letter to me that she received after her husband’s passing. Apparently, it was written by the hand of the Rubeus Manus, himself.

Though, as I think on it, why would the Rubeus Manus send a personal letter to a widow, especially the widow of a man who dedicated his life to hunting down and burning Mages?  Why would the Rubeus feel remorse over Sabin de Guiscard’s death?  It seems strange to me. The letter suggests that this Rubeus Manus is an honorable person, and yet, no one who embraces blasphemy and sin so fully could possibly possess honor.  Don’t you agree, Arlais? Perhaps there is more to this letter than I realize. With luck, I will learn more in the coming weeks, as I investigate the matter further.

Until then, may Dav bless you and keep you safe, dear sister.  Please give my regards to your husband and pass on the enclosed gifts to your boys.  With any luck, the toys will keep them out of trouble for a little while.

By my hand this morning of Circadi, Maius 27,
In the year of Our Lord 357,

A_____ de R______