message ari Your cousin would like to advise you that she is now sleeping on the streets. She sincerly hopes that she will not be pillaged and raped by morning!
message ari Your cousin would like to advise you that you don’t need to worry, she has met a lovely young … freeman and intends to go home with him, have gratuitous sex, get pregnant and get married.
message Ari Your cousin wishes to adivse you that she has attended to the gratuitous sex, and we’re posting our banns at this very moment.
message Ariel Your cousin advises you that she is setting up home on Murder Alley in a cardboard box. It is quite comfortable and she looks forward to receiving you in the very near future.
message Ari Your cousin would like to advise you that she has met a lovely long man by the name of Big-Joe. She says that he has three cows, a goat and two chickens, which she considers a very suitable marriage offering. She will send you wedding invites on the morning.
A bardic apprentice delivers the message to you, “Master op Orban advises that he demands at least ten cows by way of dowry or he refuses to consent to the marriage, and you’d best not send such insulting offers again.”
message Ari Your cousin says that she is completely and utterly heart broken and will never speak to you again.
A bardic apprentice delivers the message to you, “Master op Orban notes that that will be difficult if she wants to ask him for her allowance, so he suspects this will be a passing phase.”
message Ari Your cousin, and by cousin, I mean the annoying little wench who keeps sending me back and forth across Lithmore with these innane messages, asks me to tell you, that she has immediately forgiven you and professes her undying love for you. She also wishes to begin discussions for said allowance. She suggests five gold a day be a good starting point.
A bardic apprentice delivers the message to you, “Um, he told me to just show up and start laughing at you, so… ahahahahah ahahah hah hah hah heee hee, ahahahah! Hah hahah ahah!”
