Lien le Storm

The hardest thing in all the world for me to bare, beyond the departure of loved ones from Urth, is being alone. Knowing that there is no one I can turn to to keep me safe, or share my secrets with, or take Ariesa and love her as much as I do. No one to talk about all the little new things she does every day. And how she reminds me so much of him already. No one to hug as I need to. No one to curl up with in bed. No one soothe away tears. No where to feel safe.

What I have done. Everything over the last few months… and it is all over. Almost. And I can go back to a normal life, to think about my future. Our future. But where to go? To a home with halls and rooms I walk alone?

And what prospects am I for marriage now? Marry a man who wants me for little more than money and ties such a union would bring? That would secretly look at me and all my scars with disgust and turn regularly to the serving girl or the cook to share their bed beyond the creating of a heir?

No.

Every night that I was in there, all I could think about was getting out and seeing Ariesa, Jei, Ari and Marisa again. And now…. I thought I had won, I had done something truly good. But I have failed. I have disappointed everyone. I am no Knight. And I am certainly no Grandmaster.

Lien

Lien thinks to herself, “Dav protect me from these demons; shield me from the unholy weapons of the tainted ones, from the lying entrapments of these mages.”

Lien thinks to herself, “So many rise against me, trying to ensare me in their games of deceipt. Sustain me through their lies and their beatings. I will not be afraid of these mages. Tonight I made the Rubeus bleed, help me ensure that these unholy living walls run with their blood or send me into salvation and into your arms. I am weak, I fear death. But not what is waiting for me on the other side. ”

Lien thinks to herself, “I will stand firm, with the truth of your words worn as armour. Shielding my naked skin from their eyes. I will not stop fighting. I cannot. Another day, another week and they will come for me. Dav help them, please. I do not want to die. I’m scared.”

Lien thinks to herself, “Franz, I am sorry I failed you.”

This isn’t over. I’ve just got to get out of here— What’s that? No, no. No. No. I don’t think so. I really, REALLY do not think so. You arien bastard! Lunare…. He’s gone. It’s stopped. Darkness. Sleep…

Dav. I don’t think there’s a bit of me that doesn’t hurt and the ground so hard. Can’t show it though. Just keep talking. Just keep talking. Why all these questions. My head hurts. What was that? Cheese? No. It’s probably poisoned. What if it turns me into a mage? Or a frog? Or a mage-frog? Wonder if I could crawl out beneath the door then. Focus… okay. I can see a little of him. His hair. His eyes. His speech.

Inane questions. He’s worse than Ari, I’ll die from his lectures before I starve.

Wait? What? He’s asking about Jei? Argh I don’t want to talk about him.

Okay. That wasn’t smart. He’s mad. But Dav, it was almost worth it. So, little Rubeus, you do lose control sometimes.

Dear Diary.

I am lost. Betrayed by someone I care for. And the one I loved, dead. Almost everyone I have ever loved. Dead. My brother gone from me now. He has his own family now and people to care for and for him.

I am no Knight. Nor Reeve. Nor of the Order. I am no one of importance, and the mages ignored me in their attempt at seizing the palace.

I don’t know what to do. I barely function. The smiles forming when I’m supposed to. Nods of greeting, the motions followed by my mind is elsewhere. The tears want to fall but I keep them in check, I’m not ready to lose it, not yet. I can’t.

I will not allow his death to be for nothing.

Stormy.

The last few weeks have felt like a dream. Admittedly a sneaky, secret dream that I probably shouldn’t be having at all, but at this point, I don’t want to wake up. Don’t want to come up for air just yet.

But I have to. Not knowing what I know now. I can’t let that happen. We don’t have much time now. It’s too dangerous to stay. I need to do something to stop this. I need to write some letters.

Lieny