It is like only half of me exists now. That without your weight beside me, I’m spinning off to an oblivion in a chaotic whirlwind that threatens to take me and everything around me down with it. I reach out with grabbing hands trying to catch what ever thread that would give my existence some meaning, only to feel each one shatter in my grasp. And now, there is nothing left. No one that understands. No one that cares.
I make the daily motions. I feel the rage rising within me but it is like I’m not truly a part of it. I steer my course, take the most dangerous path which will lead me ever closer to once again being in your arms.
I wonder what you would do if you could see me now. Would you be raging with me? Would you enforce me?
Thank Dav for the pain. It is the one thing (almost) that keeps that unbearable at bay. That stops me sliding that knife across my wrist and letting it all bleed out.
I would give up every thing, every man, every coin, every piece of red for just one more minute. Just one more kiss. One more dance.
