• Protected: Jules & Bene Commission – Finally Done!

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    May 19, 2012 /  Pictures

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  • Waiting on the Otherside

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    April 9, 2012 /  Soundtrack

    (One of Julea’s more recent poems was heavily plagiarised from the above)

    Will put up another, more IC post soon.

  • Protected: For Bene

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    March 22, 2012 /  Here & Now

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  • Protected: The Censored Poem | Secrets of a Poet Spy

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    March 20, 2012 /  Verses

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  • Waiting

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    March 15, 2012 /  Here & Now

    “It has been two days now. He should be here already. Has he changed his mind? How much longer can I risk waiting”

    Julea’s hand reaches up to scratch at the nape of her neck, fingers inching down between the rough threading of the thick woollen scarf, unused to the irritation against her skin. She couldn’t look any more different from her usual self. Gone are the fitted leathers with scarlet threading that push the bounds of sumptuary, and instead, she wears the clothes of a farmers daughter and a poor one at that. Even her precious blood red lined cloak is gone, having been left crumpled on the floor of the Brotherhood store room.

    Continue Reading

  • To The Lion

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    March 14, 2012 /  Verses

    Kiss me hard before I go.
    I just want you to know
    That love, you were the one.

    All of Lithmore was telling me
    I should move on
    But loving you forever
    Couldn’t of been so wrong.
    I’m waiting on the other side
    Singing your song.
    Because you’re not here,
    I’m not ready to move on

    Every time I close my eyes,
    It’s like a dark paradise
    I’m waiting for you to join me
    On the other side

    There’s no remedy for your memory,
    Your smile is like a melody
    It won’t leave my head
    Your soul is haunting me and
    Telling me that everything will be fine
    But I wish you were dead.

    All my friends ask me
    How I stay strong and
    I tell them when you find
    true love it lives on
    And that’s why I wait here
    For you to come.

  • March 14, 2012 /  OOC

    Julea’s tale was always a love story.

    At first, it was all about her getting over the loss of someone who meant more to her than anything, and who she had just given up everything for. Her struggle with accepting it. Her rage when she was unable to cope and her drinking. She purposefully lived dangerously, because she felt she had nothing to lose, which is why she hunted as she did. She was getting past it slowly, the drinking slowed down and she started to work on other methods to cope (remember seeing her breathing in/out a lot?). She was also constantly trying to find a family and somewhere to be accepted.

    She eventually was able to finally get past her loss the night of the Masquerade dinner, when she danced with the Fox. Which was the first time she had danced since the loss of her bethrothed. Her first real night of happiness that ended with things going so wrong with her arrest at the end.

    Eventually, through the near daily visits, she found herself falling in love with someone she shouldn’t: The Cardinal, which ultimately resulted in her death. It surprised her as much as anyone. She didn’t want to. And she had an argument with the one she referred to as the Hawk, about how wrong he was for her. How he couldn’t be any more wrong for her. How it must of been some kind of joke by Dav to consider a love match between two people so drastically different. He managed to convince her of the Truth of it though.

    She tried to do the right thing and step back and let him go and wrote him a letter. But after losing her bethrothed, it was more pain than she could bare and she went back to him. And of course, he stepped down from his position as Cardinal. She knew, when that happened, that it was quite likely that those vultures who hounded her constantly would soon circle in. But in her mind, just a few weeks of happiness finally would be worth it. In the end though, she got one day.

    She was Tubori through and through. She didn’t really get why there was such a fuss about her most of the time. And why the vultures hunted her as they did so constantly. In the end, she just wanted to be left alone. To get a chance to be happy with someone she considered her soulmate. It was almost funny, people credited her with being a lot more deceptive than she actually was half the time.

    ———————————————————–

    As a player, I ensured Julea wasn’t flawless. It wasn’t about winning, it was always about the story and the character development. I ensured she made mistakes and was flawed. She was not all knowing. She did not act on every piece of information, just because it was codely presented to her. She forgot things. She made a couple of bad judgement calls. Just like normal people do.

    There are more details in the passworded post below. If you want it, just ask. My contact details are also in a previous post too.

    Julea’s story, hasn’t ended here, and I’m still playing her from the point just before capture with the idea she got away (as she may well of done if we hadn’t of had follow-issues). And likely will continue to play her for a while. I just wish that could of been on TI. I had a lot of plot stuff that I had planned out that was going to develop over time, many of which involved characters on TI. I know. Stupid of me to do that sort of thing. But I’m not used to playing on a world like TI. It would of been better for me to put less time into her background and character and plots, not planned her out, and played to win.

    I have always kept characters for the long term. One of my other favourite characters was created in 2003, and saw almost seven years of play. I like the long arcing story lines that develop over time to give a character history.

    I admit after the issues that arose in the last two weeks of play and ultimately that final scene, I do not think I could ever play on TI again. It fills me with a kind of bad feeling and dread that is hard to explain. I do feel let down. I know I made some mistakes myself, but I was a newbie to that sort of scene. I had no idea what options were open to me with regards staff help, or what would be considered wrong. I was upset with the code issues I was having, and trust me, if the above had not of happened, I would not likely of osay’d my intention to go link dead and done so. I’m not the sort of person who generally ‘fades’ scenes. 😉 I have played combat scenes before, where death has been an option and this was nothing like it anything I had played in before.

    Anyways. If any are interested in reading it, I’ll probably set up a blog somewhere for Julea, and her continued story. It probably isn’t appropriate for me to keep posting here non-TI stuff though. So if/when I get that sorted, I’ll post up a link for those interested.

  • Hardest Letter Ever

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    March 14, 2012 /  Here & Now

    (now unpassworded)

    Dear Bene,

    I love you so much, truly. And it is because of that that I think I must
    do this and walk away. I can’t watch you destroy what respect you have
    from the people that you love so much in my name. You are one of the
    sweetest and wonderful men I know. That you even give me the time of day
    is evidence enough of that. That you humour me, and even save me from
    myself over and over again.

    But how can I even consider taking you from your flock? What is the needs
    of this one person when you could be helping so many? And to what end? To
    sneak out at night, stealing you every now and then, and seeing the
    uncertainity and guilt in your eyes. To see you lose the respect of your
    people and the church? Eventually kicked out or ex-communicated because of
    -me-? I can’t do that to you. I can’t. I might do a lot of wrong things
    every day, but I know this is the right thing. And for once I need to do
    that.

    Jules.

    =========================================================================

    The moment it passed from my hand into the Southside Courier’s, I fell to my knees, regretting it. Wishing there was another way. Wanting him so badly to deny it, to come to me and say No. That I am wrong. That I am not that bad. That he can fix it. And we can make it work. To push away the one person that sees the good in me? Am I a masochist? Do I want to be alone? To lose someone again. It is more than I can bare.

    Later, I crept through the Cathedral, and spotted him at the Altar. I wanted to go to him, but couldn’t, and turned away and walked out, choking back my own sobs.

  • Protected: Julea’s Loyalties & Notes

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    March 13, 2012 /  OOC

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  • March 11, 2012 /  OOC

    I might do a final IC post later when my head is a little more clear, I know there has always been a lot of questions as to who Julea was really loyal to and how she felt about various people around her. I might reveal a bit of that later.

    I don’t think, unfortunately, that I’ll be playing again. I mean, it’s not beyond the realms of possibility but it’s not very likely. I’m sorry folks.

    If anyone wants to contact me, my email address and googletalk contact is: nyssa.nz@gmail.com

    The song, means a lot to me. It was played at the funeral of a friend of mine. And I think it is apt for this OOC post.

    Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
    Her placenta falls to the floor
    The angel opens her eyes, the confusion sets in
    Before the doctor can even close the door

    Lightning crashes, an old mother dies
    Her intentions fall to the floor
    The angel closes her eyes, the confusion that was hers
    Belongs now, to the baby down the hall

    Oh now feel it comin’ back again
    Like a rollin’ thunder chasing the wind
    Forces pullin’ from the center of the earth again
    I can feel it

    Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
    This moment she’s been waiting for
    The angels open her eyes, pale blue colored iris
    Presents the sun and puts th glory out to hide, hide

    Oh, now feel it comin’ back again
    Like a rollin’ thunder chasing the wind
    Forces pullin’ from the center of the earth again
    I can feel it

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