She’s pregnant. it finally happened. I am going to be a father.
I am once more hit by the surreal. I have known this was going to happen intellectually. I have been expecting it, hoping for it, praying for it even. However now that it is happening I am faced with the reality of it. Well the reality of pregnancy, not of children. I imagine that I will go through this all again on the day that I hold my child in my arms for the first time.
Perhaps it is my imagination, but Kat seems even happier now that she is pregnant. She has been positively glowing. I finally understand what people mean when they say that now. Mornings aren’t the greatest of things, but that doesn’t put her off at all. She is definitely more of an introvert than I am, but she was so full of the joy of it all that she went along with the idea of throwing a party to celebrate the news.
I can’t help but feel nervous now as well. We are getting ever closer to that reality and I wonder, will I be a good Father? Will I be able to be there for my child in the way that they need me with all of my other duties? Will I neglect those duties too much in my desire to be there with my son or daughter? I like to think that I will maintain the balance, but all of this is purely theoretical at this point. All I can do is try my best and plan for that future.
Planning… we must begin to think of names. I hadn’t wanted to do so before we were sure Kat was pregnant. I was worried that it would be bad luck to do so. Though secretly I had been pondering in my head. If it is a boy, I would like to name him Brandon, after my eldest brother, to help honor him. Though I am sure Kat has her own ideas. I really must work with her on deciding on this.
I hope that I can keep my children safe. That will probably be the biggest challenge, or at the very least the biggest worry for me. I want to protect my children, to help keep them safe from the dangers out there. I’ve been targeted by magic since my arrival here, I’ve faced slavers and threats of death. And then there are those threats that remain hidden, from those who won’t voice them, but you can see them, sense them lurking there.
Though I do have to pity whoever tries to attack my family. Our armory has just gone in and between us I think we will have our home and our children well defended. Plus Morgan and Johns have both proven to be loyal and capable. For all my worries, I should trust that we are well set up to handle this. Not to mention, we have a number of friends who are there for us. I could not be more thankful for that and them going forward.