A new year, perhaps a better one?

My time in lithmore this far has… let’s face it, been one more of reclusion than of truly getting my name and family out there. I need to do better is the long and short of it really. I am a noblewoman and it is expected of me to show my face more than I have. This new year should also mark a year where I do not lapse into silly childish things such as letting emotions influence me, feelings are for those without worth in their life. I have a job to do and by the lord I shall fulfil my duty and prove to the naysayers that I -am- the power of Nimrock. I should begin with getting more involved in knowing the guildleaders, those with whom mutual benefit could be achieved.

As aggressively and coldly as I write these words a quiet truth rings in my ears, as childish and unhelpful as they are I can never shake my feelings or emotions. I fear I will never become the calculating and cunning leader I have always tried to be, my fa├žade holds for now but how long till it cracks? How long till everyone sees how much of a mess I really am? How long till it becomes evident I don’t truly know what I’m doing.

Perhaps I’ll need a different angle? A different path than trying to become more cutthroat than those who’d seek to topple me. I’ve never been cut out for politics, and I care about people more than I should. I think for now I’ll continue meeting people, building up friends, acquaintances and allies. See where life takes me, for now I suppose I’ll always have one treacherous old friend to rely on… so lets drink to the dream of forging a legacy, or at least getting drunk enough to stop caring.

Cheers…

A lioness in lithmore

It has been some time since I first arrived in this city and already I have discovered that just like in vavard summertime does not agree with my nose or eyes. Even the prime medicus here, as wonderful as she is, doesn’t seem to be able to diagnose my ailment. How awful… But she could at least help treat it.

It has not been easy arriving here, I left all my friends behind and have been slow to make new ones. It gets quite lonely actually, and once again I have noone I can truly be myself with. No change from normal eh?

There is acceptable alcohol here at least. I’ve been told at times I should stop drinking but it’s never something I’ve wanted to stop. What else would I drink? Though the bruises I’ve received in the past from it haven’t been the most graceful of times I suppose. I gave as good as I got at least.

But now I am a baroness, and all that had to stop. I have even met some here who knew Miciah, far better than I ever knew him. I’ve heard mixed things to say the least but regardless I am not him nor anyone else in my family, I hold myself to no standards but my own. I would like to see what else the city brings I think, there are some interesting people here that I would like to get to know better. Onto a brighter and better tomorrow? Well a less quiet one we can at least hope.