Southbound Letters
Three of each and not a one more handsome than I, right? But in honesty, it calms my heart hearing about the Knights traveling with you. While I do not fear Farin responding to the assassination of one of their baron’s brothers, I do fear whatever group assassinated him attacking you and making it seem that way. It is what I would do if I wanted to drive a rift between Farin and the Kingdom.
I wish I was there with you; country life suits me a thousand times better than the hustle and bustle of the city. Jinosa’s mother sounds like a wonderfully simple woman; that’s not to say that that is better than complex women, per se, but that sometimes simple folk have their own unique pros. I have spent too much around complicated people, and I wager to say you might feel the same? Is Awan Ride a quiet province, in of itself? I have only been to Farin once, on my way to the Front, and I can openly admit that no sun salve can completely protect you from that glare; I’d suggest an umbrella. As pompous as it might make you look to the country folk, it will be well worth it; and really, who cares what they think in the first place?
I… confess, I write this letter with fresh lashes on my back. It makes my hand shaky, and my constitution weak. Let me explain further; I have a page named Bryce Talicson – I am unsure if you have met him, but he is ten years old. One of the few youthful standouts of the Knights, in that he is an exemplar of our virtues. However, recently he and Seamus Harper (a thief that’s now an acolyte… something of my doing as well, I suppose) ran across a mage at a tavern, who attacked them. During the scuffle, Bryce – who again, I reiterate, is ten years old! – accidentally struck a fatal blow against her. On further discussion with him, he truly had no idea. We keep our pages away from the jist of combat study, but he’s taken to it more kindly than most – but I fear he hasn’t studied anatomy, and so he doesn’t really understand which areas on the body might be fatal. Regardless, he killed the witch. She was not burned, therefore uncleansed. This, to a Knight, is the ultimate sin – and failure. We exist to guide the Tainted to the pyre, protect them against the ravenous mobs, and see that they are put down properly. This wore heavily on Bryce, and so after speaking with him, I felt it necessary to give him physical punishment. Five lashes. As his mentor, I took ten myself for failing him. All delivered publicly.
Did I act too harshly? I haven’t spoken to him since, but certainly he seemed alleviated after the lashings, as if the blood dripping down his bare, unscarred skin soothed his guilt. It struck me that day that guilt is perhaps a Knights most powerful virtue – it is what sets us apart and keeps us honest. A Knight without guilt is no Knight at all – but a Knight with too much guilt on his soul might find himself plagued by inaction. This latter scenario was where I saw Bryce headed; to apathy and depression. I had to save him from that, even by the harshest measures.
At the whippings Gerolf confronted me, demanding I stop lest I be removed from the Knights. Ariel and Karrina eventually talked him down from the stance but it still didn’t stop me from being completely steamed at the man. Who is he to question how I choose to discipline my students? He said that I shouldn’t be taking atonement into my own hands; but this is not religious atonement. It is Knightly atonement. I told him, and I quote: “I will do whatever I damn well please to teach my men the lessons they need, and you will be glad to have such well-trained hunting dogs.”
This writing helps, more than you know. I’d really like to believe that some part of me might remain on this Urth when I pass – some piece of my wisdom, in short supply as it is. I know for a fact that people will always remember you – you’ve done too much to receive anything else.
In love, always, Casimir Aldair