The hardest thing in all the world for me to bare, beyond the departure of loved ones from Urth, is being alone. Knowing that there is no one I can turn to to keep me safe, or share my secrets with, or take Ariesa and love her as much as I do. No one to talk about all the little new things she does every day. And how she reminds me so much of him already. No one to hug as I need to. No one to curl up with in bed. No one soothe away tears. No where to feel safe.
What I have done. Everything over the last few months… and it is all over. Almost. And I can go back to a normal life, to think about my future. Our future. But where to go? To a home with halls and rooms I walk alone?
And what prospects am I for marriage now? Marry a man who wants me for little more than money and ties such a union would bring? That would secretly look at me and all my scars with disgust and turn regularly to the serving girl or the cook to share their bed beyond the creating of a heir?
No.
Every night that I was in there, all I could think about was getting out and seeing Ariesa, Jei, Ari and Marisa again. And now…. I thought I had won, I had done something truly good. But I have failed. I have disappointed everyone. I am no Knight. And I am certainly no Grandmaster.
Lien
