A new hope, a new beginning

So time has passed diary, a lot of time, since I have opened this thing up and written in here.
The last I wrote, I can see I was rather angry.
That anger has faded, though as I predicted, the perpetrators have not been found.
Despite the best efforts of the knights, the case remains unsolved, my possessions gone.
I trust, they will probably never be found again.
That thought does make me sad, all the wedding clothes especially gone.
However, that bitter hot red anger has passed, to be replaced by a dull pain and sadness at the loss.
All in all however, life is looking up.
I am with child now, finally almost after a year of marriage, I have become pregnant.
I am finding the experience rather… perturbing.
I feel nauseous, have mood swings, crave foods, get hot flashes, sweat at random times, it is quite interesting.
The other day, whilst having a conversation with a dear elderly lady, who sells baked goods by the crossroads, her name is Esmerelde, though I forget her surname.
At any rate, whilst conversing with her, I unceremoniously got the undeniable urge to vomit.
I turned away from her and promptly did so.
Not long after that, I suffered an abrupt mood swing, became teary even without my knowing why.
Poor Miss Esmerelde, she had to contend with all my insanity.
My clothes are beginning to fit a bit tight around me.
I may perhaps, have to write to Miss Ab Courtland, see if she will make me a gown, or dress of some sort to fit more comfortable and loosely around me.
I have not, as of yet begun to show, but judging from the tightness I feel when I wear my clothes, it probably will not be long.
Arlet and I, have discussed the names.
We are unsure, if the girl’s name will be Deidre Maurine or if it will be Deidre Morgan.
I rather prefer the former, Maurine, is such a pretty name.
However, Arlet prefers Morgan.
Though, he rather preferred giving it to our baby boy as a middle name and I promptly said that would never do.
I am hoping for a girl to be quite honest.
I am unsure what Arlet might prefer.
However, the way he doats on me, I doubt he would mind either way.
My fear with Arlet though is, that he will want our boy to be more feminine and girly.
I, do not want that.
Not really, he will be teased endlessly at school.
He forgets, we are not in Tubor. Here, in Lithmore, there is a very good sense of gender and gender roles.
I grew up in a family too, where the gender roles were set.
My mother is half lithmorran, my grandfather on her side, who is no longer living bless his soul, was Lithmorran.
So she grew up with both Tubori and Lithmorran customs.
So too did I and my siblings, though we are only one quarter lithmorran.
My Father, and his family are all Tubori, so that makes me, if I have done the math correctly, only one quarter Lithmorran.
Still, it is enough for me to know how things are done in Lithmore, for my Mother clung to parts of that culture.
Ergo, this is a roundabout way if saying, I know our wee one, should he be a son, would be beaten up senseless if he turns out all feminine.
Then of course, Arlet is correct that we should nurture him or her to whatever they like to be.
Even still, I do worry.
Ah well, the baby is a long way before he or she, will pop out.
I do pray for a little girl though. A wee little girl, who perhaps takes after me.
At any rate, I shall close this up and write another time.
perhaps when, not so much of it has passed.

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